Hope and Faith

2011/04/07 esperanzafe
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These are the things I have when I think of our future together. My husband and mine, I mean. As long as he is by my side I have nothing to fear of the future. Together we’re a united front against anything the world throws our way. I definitely know that things won’t always be perfect, we’re going to have our disagreements, but the love we share is real and nothing will take away from that.

This journal is going to be for me, I think. Somewhere to write the things that I don’t want friends and family knowing yet. The journey of trying to conceive, newlywed bliss (everyone is tired of hearing our cheesy romantic lines haha), and all the ups and downs that makes my life as beautiful and chaotic as it is. This journal will be where I can talk about my attempts at being a good Christian wife. Of working to stay on a path that G-d smiles on. So, for my first post I think I will write a list of goals for myself.

I will try to remember that my husband is head of the household. G-d gave us roles to fulfill and I will work towards being the heart of the home, not the head. I am created out of man who is created out of G-d. It is my job to be submissive to my husband. It is an honor to be given this role and I will work to stick with my role.

I will continue working towards being “fruitful”. Besides, trying is lots of fun!(-crosses fingers for this month- If we get pregnant this month, our baby would be due in the beginning of January. A wonderful birthday gift for M!) Seeing M with our nieces makes me want so badly to make him a father. He’s amazing with kids, even if he’s nervous about being a good father, but I know that the patient and loving man I married was pretty much made to be a daddy.

I will go to school and better myself which will in turn better our lives. I will do things that are pleasing to my husband because he’s an amazing man and deserves it. (Surprise dinners, cuddles, etc…just show my love for the incredible man G-d brought to me!). Getting my Sociology degree will open up so many doors for us. M will be a doctor (eventually!) and I’ll work in social work. I’m not sure if I want to do adoptions or take children out of dangerous situations but I feel that my life is being pulled in that direction. I’ve enrolled at the local community college and hopefully will be approved for the financial aid. The process confuses me but I’m pushing through and am praying that I’ll be in classes come fall.

M and I are truly blessed. We have a nice house, great family (my in laws really are incredible), and a future that is wide open and ready for us to fill it. I honestly can’t wait. I look at M and my heart catches because to me he is the most incredible and beautiful man I have EVER met. I get so overwhelmed by the amount of love I feel for him and know that he feels for me. How did I get so very lucky?

On that note, I’m going to end this. I’m going to make it another goal to write in this at least once a week. I have another one but this one is definitely more private, of course M could read it if he wanted. I just meant family and friends are going to be shut out. I feel that I need something for me and this is it. Writing is so healing!


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April 2011

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